in

400+ R-Rated Most Dirty Pick Up Lines Ever for Tinder

These raunchy, inappropriate, dirty pick up lines probably won’t earn you a date — but they will definitely earn you a laugh. Anyone with a good sense of humor will appreciate them. You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. We also have a great collection of Geeky & Nerdy Pick Up Lines.

I categorize these Dirty Pick Up Lines into six types.

  1. FUNNY & DIRTY PICK UP LINES
  2. CHEESY & DIRTY PICK UP LINES
  3. DIRTY LINES TO TEASE HER
  4. RAUNCHY & VULGAR PICK UP LINES
  5. DIRTY LINES TO USE ON GUYS
  6. DIRTY NERDY PICK UP LINES

R-RATED MOST DIRTY PICK UP LINES

 FUNNY & DIRTY PICK UP LINES

 

1. “I’m Asian, so I’ll eat your cat.”

2. “I heard you are looking for a stud. I’ve got the STD, all I need is U.”

3. “Smile, if you want to have sex with me.”

4. “What has 132 teeth and holds back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.”

5. “You’re like Pringles; once I pop you, I can’t stop you.”

6. “Will you marry me for just one night?”

7. “Let’s go back to my room and do some math: Add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply.”

8. “Oh, you like sleeping?… Me too! We should do it together sometime!”

9. “Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.”

10. “I’m like a Rubik’s Cube, the more you play with me the harder I get!”

11. “You are so selfish! You’re going to have that body the rest of your life, and I just want it for one night.”

12. “Are you from Japan because I’d like to get in japanties.”

13. “Life is like a dick. When it gets hard, just – Fuck it.”

14. “You are so beautiful that I want to be reincarnated as your child so that I can breastfeed by you until I’m 5.”

15. “My face is leaving in fifteen minutes. Be on it.”

16. “You know, if I were you, I’d have sex with me.”

17. “What’s the speed limit of sex? [Girl: What?] 68. Because at 69 YOU have to turn around!”

18. “I’m not trying to pressure you. I don’t want to have sex without mutual consent; oh and by the way, you have my consent.”

19. “Do you want to have good sex? [Girl: No!] Well then come to my place!”

20. “You remind me of my cousin. [Girl: How?] I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.”

21. [Write the following on a napkin and give it to a cute girl.] “Smile if you want to have sex with me.” [Watch her smile!]

22. “What’ll you say we make like Winnie-the-poo and I can get my nose stuck in your honey jar.”

23. “Let me eat you for an hour. If you don’t want to have sex after that, we won’t.”

24. “That shirt’s very becoming on you. If I were on you, I’d be coming too.”

25. “I’m trying to determine after years of therapy and lots of testing, whether or not I’m allergic to sex. Wanna help?”

26. “I’m not an expert in hardware, but I know that you’d be able to screw my nuts off.”

27. “Sex is a killer … want to die happy?”

28. “Want to taste my dick? [Girl: What!?!] I said: Do you want to taste my drink?”

29. “Sex is evil; Evil is sin; Sin is forgiven; so let’s begin.”

30. “Hey, you wanna do a 68? [Girl: What?] You go down on me, and I’ll owe you one.”

31. “Hey! tell your nipples to stop staring at my eyes.”

32. “I think my allergies are acting up. Cuz every time you’re around my dick swells up.”

33. “Those boobs look very heavy… can I hold them for you?”

34. [Use index finger to call someone over then say] “I made you come with one finger, imagine what I could do with my whole hand.”

35. “I’m no Fred Flintstone, but I can make your bed rock!”

36. “Hello girl, I am a bisexual. I´d like to buy you a drink … and then get sexual.”

37. “We should totally meet up for a pizza and f*ck. [Girl: No!] What, you don’t like pizza?”

38. “I would tell you a joke about my p*nis… but it is too long.” 🙂

39. “Let’s play “Titanic.” When I say “Iceberg!” you do down.”

40. “I’m an astronaut. My next mission is exploring Uranus.” [Uranus = your anus]

41. “Screw me if I’m wrong but haven’t we met before?”

42. “Let’s play carpenter. Let’s get hammered first, and then I’ll nail you.”

43. “Do you like jigsaw puzzles? Let’s go to my room and put our pieces together.”

CHEESY & DIRTY PICK UP LINES

1. “Is there a cell phone in your back pocket? Cause that ass is calling me!”

2. “You work at a post office? Cause I saw you checking out my package.”

3. “I want you to be the girl who takes my virginity.”

4. “I`m no weatherman, but you can expect a few inches tonight.”

5. “Hey I’m looking for treasure, Can I look around your chest?”

6. “You must be a yogurt because I want to spoon you.”

7. “Is your name winter? Because you’ll be coming soon.”

8. “Miss, If you’ve lost your virginity, can I have the box it came in?”

9. “Wanna play carnival? You sit on my face, and I guess how much you weigh.”

10. “Roses are black; violets are red, what is it going to take, to get you into bed?”

11. “That’s a nice shirt. Can I talk you out of it?”

12. “Can I park my car in your garage? It’s pretty big, but it doesn’t leak.”

13. “Damn baby, are you my new boss? Cause you just gave me a raise.”

14. “Is your father a lumberjack [Girl: No, why?] Because whenever I look at you, I get wood in my pants.”

15. “I’m like Domino’s Pizza. If I don’t come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.”

16. “You look so innocent, you look so sweet, as long as I have a face, you will always have a seat.”

17. “Pick a number between 1 and 10. You lose now take off your clothes.”

18. “My recipe for love is one cup of you, one cup of me, knead till hard, and serve hot.”

19. “Do you know your ABC’s? Cause I wanna give you the 4th letter of the alphabet.”

20. “You know why they call me the cat whisperer? Cause I know exactly what that pussy needs.”

21. “Did you get those pants at 50% off? Cause they are 100% off at my place!”

22. “I named my dick “the truth” cause bitches can’t handle it!”

23. “I’m either going home with you or behind you, take your pick.”

24. “I’m on fire. Can I run through your sprinkler?”

25. “I’m not too good at algebra, but doesn’t U+I = 69?”

26. “I’m the doctor of love baby, and you’re overdue for your meat injection!”

27. “My friend and I made a bet, and I need to check if those are implants.”

28. “What are you doing tonight besides me?”

29. “You know what I like in a girl? [Girl: What?] My dick.”

30. “Call me leaves, cause you should be blowing me.”

31. “You know why I am like a squirrel? Cause I want to bury my nuts in you.”

32. “You should join the circus. [Girl: Why?] So you can learn to juggle my balls all day.”

33. “Wanna play “kite”? I lay down, you blow, and we’ll see how high you can make me.”

34. “Your breasts remind me of Mount Rushmore…. My face should be among them.”

35. “Do you have rubbers at your house or should I pull out?”

36. “I must be hunting treasure because I’m digging your chest.”

37. “Yeah, it’s big, and if you pet it, it spits.”

38. “Let’s play house… you can be the door, so I can slam you all I want!”

39. “My dick’s been feeling a little dead lately. Wanna give it some mouth-to-mouth?”

40. “Are you cold? Would you like a jacket? Because you can jack it when we get back to my place.”

41. “Hey, do you have an inhaler? Cause you got that ass ma!”

42. “Baby, I’m like a firefighter, I find ’em hot and leave ’em wet!”

43. “Do you live on a chicken farm? ‘Cause you sure know how to raise a cock.”

44. “Let’s play Barbie. I’ll be Ken, and you can be the box I come in.”

45. “Look out in the night sky. You see that bright light to the right of that red one? That is a comet that is streaking toward here at 34546 miles per hour. At that rate, it will be here in about an hour. So, wanna fuck?”

46. “I’m peanut butter, and you’re jelly. Let’s have sex.”

47. “Let’s play strip poker. You strip, and I’ll poke you.”

48. “Do you, by any chance, have any Italian in you? Would you like some?” [use any ethnicity you want]

49. “I’m just like a Rubik’s cube. The more you play with me, the harder I get.”

50. “How do you like your eggs? Scrambled, poached or fertilized?”

51. “If you jingle my bells, I can promise you a white Christmas.”

DIRTY LINES TO TEASE HER

 

1. “My magical watch says you’re not wearing any panties… oh, you are? Damn, it must be an hour fast…”

2. “You’re like my little toe because I’m going to bang you on every piece of furniture in my home.”

3. “I might not go down in history, but I’ll gladly go down on you!”

4. “What time do you get off? Can I watch?”

5. “You, me, handcuffs, and whipped cream: interested?”

6. “You’re on my list of things to do tonight.”

7. “Wasn’t I supposed to eat you somewhere?”

8. “What do I have to do to be your booty call?”

9. “May I pleasure you with my tongue?”

10. “Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?”

11. “My ex-girlfriend used to call me Goldfinger.”

12. “My place… Eight o’clock… Bring a friend.”

13. “Let’s have a party and invite your pants to come on down.”

14. “Pizza is my second favorite thing to eat in bed.”

15. “I’m jealous of your dress. [Girl: Why?] Because it’s touching your body, and I’m not.”

16. “You have some nice jewelry. It would look great on my nightstand.”

17. “Why don’t you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?”

18. “So, what are the chances that we can engage in anything more than just conversation?”

19. “That’s a nice smile. It’d look better if it was all you were wearing!”

20. “Try me once and if you don’t like it, what have you wasted? What, six hours of your life? It’d be more if you want foreplay.”

21. “You know how some men buy really expensive cars to make up for certain shortages? Well, I don’t even own a car.”

22. “Would you like to try an Australian kiss? It is just like a French kiss, but down under.”

23. “That outfit would look great in a crumpled heap on my bedroom floor tomorrow morning.”

24. “I’m conducting a survey on the taste of vaginas. Wanna be my first?”

25. “Are you a tortilla? Because I want to flip you over and eat you out!”

26. “You know how your hair would look really good? [Girl: No.] In my lap.”

27. “The only thing I want between our relationship is latex.”

28. “Oh, you’re on your period? That’s okay; pirates aren’t afraid to sail the Red Sea.”

29. “The Trojans loved Helen so much they jumped into a horse; I love you so much I wanna jump into a Trojan.”

30. “My guitar teacher says my fingering is good, especially on the G-string.”

31. “Lie down on that couch and pretend your legs hate each other.”

32. [Walk up to a female and look at her crotch then look at her face back to crotch to face and say] “Are you gonna eat that?”

33. “Baby I want to wear you like a pair of sunglasses, one leg over each ear.”

34. “I can touch your belly button . . . from the inside?”

35. “You got nice breasts, but what color are your nipples? Brown or Pink?”

36. “Want to spend the night at my house tonight? The couch may not pull out, but I do.”

37. “Hey there, I just took some Cialis, and I have 18 hours left.”

38. “My cat’s dead, can I play with your pussy instead?”

39. “First, I’d like to kiss you passionately on the lips; then, I’ll move up to your belly button.”

40. “I could’ve called heaven and asked for an angel, but I was hoping you’re a slut instead!”

41. “Since we’ve been told to reduce waste these days, what you say we use these condoms in my pocket before they expire.”

42. “Let’s bypass all the bullshit and just get naked.”

43. “Let’s go to your place and love each other until my dick falls in your pussy.”

44. “It sure is hot and stuffy in here. Would you like to take a cold shower?”

45. “I’m really not a dick in real life, but I can play one in you tonight.”

46. “I know a really great way to burn off calories in that drink.”

47. “You’ve been very naughty. Go to my room!”

48. “You have a great set of legs. What time do they open?”

49. “There’s a party at your ankles. Should we invite your pants to come on down?”

RAUNCHY & VULGAR PICK UP LINES

 

1. “There are eight planets in the universe, but only seven after I destroy Uranus.”

2. “Wanna fuck like bunnies?”

3. “I’ll treat you like my homework: Slam you on the table and do you all night long!”

4. “Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.”

5. “Do you like warm weather? Cause I’m gonna put my warm balls on your face weather you like it or not.”

6. “So, what are the chances of my balls slappin’ your ass tonight?”

7. “We’re going to dance to one song, then go back to my apartment and fuck.”

8. “The only reason I would kick you out of bed would be to fuck you on the floor.”

9. “My dick is like a catnip; it’ll make a cougar like you go wild.”

10. “Do you like chocolate? Because you’re gonna choke a lot on this dick.”

11. “You have pretty eyeballs. Of course, they’d be better if they were eyeing my pretty balls.”

12. “I hope you got a pet insurance, cause tonight I’m gonna destroy that pussy.”

13. “Come here or my dick will start CUMING for you!”

14. “Why don’t you get on your knees and smile like a donut?”

15. “My dick just died. Would you mind if I buried it in your ass?”

16. “Oh, you’re a bird watcher. [Pull out your dong.] Well, would you take this for a swallow?” [Warning: This could lead to sexual harassment and charges against you so do not use it.]

17. “We’ll probably never see each other again, so let’s screw.”

18. “I heard you like Magic, well bend over and watch my d*ck disappear.”

DIRTY LINES TO USE ON GUYS

1. “You look hungry. Luckily, I have a never-ending supply of cream for you.”

2. “I’m not a construction worker, but I would like to use your wood.”

3. “My beaver is dying for some wood. Can you help?”

4. “I’m scared of getting pregnant, so do you want to go up to my room and help me test all my condoms?”

5. “I can take my pants off in two seconds. Let’s see how long it takes you.”

6. “Tell me your name, so I know what to scream tonight.”

7. “You remind me of my cousin. [He: How?] I want to fuck you so bad, but I know that I can’t.”

8. “Are you feeling a little down? I can help feel you up.”

9. “Sex is a killer. Do you wanna die happy?”

10. “You look familiar. Have we had sex before? [He: No] Well, we should.”

11. “You don’t have a ring, and neither do I. Want to go back to my place?”

12. “I need help filling a hole. Would you mind giving me a hand?”

13. “You’ve been a very bad boy. It’s time to spank you.”

14. “Do you train cats? [He: No, why?] Because you just made my p*ssy cum!”

15. “If I told you I worked for UPS, would you let me handle your package?”

16. “Those are some nice pants! Mind if I test the zipper?”

17. “F*ck me if I’m wrong, but we have plans to have sex tonight.”

18. “I’m wearing Revlon Colorstay Lipstick, want to help me test the claim that it won’t kiss off?”

19. “My mouth is just aching for your tongue.”

20. “Hello, gorgeous. I’m like a tropical island. I am hot, wet and ready for visitors.”

21. “You look like a really hard worker. I have an opening you can fill.”

22. “I haven’t been on my trampoline in ages, but I would gladly bounce on you.”

23. “I was wondering… Do you sleep on your stomach?” [He: No] Well, can I?”

24. “Do you want to give me an Australian kiss? It’s like a French kiss, but down under.”

25. “I’m not wearing any socks. And I have the underwear to match.”

26. “You never have to worry about me. I never become emotionally involved; everything is just physical.”

27. “I wanna put your thingy into my thingy.”

28. “I wanna floss with your pubic hair.”

29. “I love every bone in my body… Especially yours.”

30. “Are you into one-night stands? [He: No.] Then it’s a good thing it’s daytime.”

31. “Don’t stick out your tongue unless you intend to use it.”

32. “Have you ever slept with a [use the color of your hair]? Now is your chance!”

33. “Your clothes are making me uncomfortable; please take them off.”

34. “We barely know each other, but let’s practice having sex anyway.”

35. “Hi. I wanted to test my gag reflex and was wondering if you had anything to stick down my throat.”

36. “It’s wet and moist somewhere. Want to feel?”

37. “If I pour chocolate all over my body, will you lick it up?”

38. “Want to make a porno? We don’t have to tape it.”

39. “Wanna go back to my place and watch porn on my flat screen mirror?”

40. “My night would be perfect if you cum with me.”

41. “Hey there! We should totally meet up for a pizza and f*ck. [He: !!!] What, you don’t like pizza?”

42. “Are you a rainstorm? Because you’re making me soaking wet.”

43. “I’m trying to build a fire between my legs and wouldn’t mind using your wood.”

44. “I hear you’ve been a bad boy. Now go to MY room!”

45. “Is there a mirror in your pocket? Because I can see myself in your pants.”

46. “I’ll show you my tan lines if you’ll show me yours.”

47. “If I said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?”

48. “Would it be weird if I wanted to bang your brains out, or just that I didn’t call you after?”

49. “How do you like your eggs and sausage in the morning? Scrambled or blown?”

50. “Have you got a napkin? You’re making me wet.”

51. “Don’t let this go to your head, but do you want some?”

52. “Are you a Veterinarian? [He: No why?] Because I need you to look at my pussy…”

53. “I was feeling a little off today, but you definitely turned me on.”

54. “When I saw you, I lost my tongue. Can I put yours in my mouth?”

55. “I suffer from amnesia. Have we had sex before? [He: No.] Well, why don’t we?”

56. “Do you know how to use a whip?”

57. “I don’t like the wine here much, but I would definitely like you trying to make me moan.”

58. “I don’t need a spoonful of sugar to swallow you.”

59. “Do you want to pretend my legs are made of butter and spread them?”

60. “In my mind, we’re going to have sex anyway, so you might as well be in the room.”

DIRTY NERDY PICK UP LINES

 

1. “You be the numerator, and I will be the denominator, so both of us can reduce to the simplest form.”

2. “Hello baby! Let’s make love like pi; irrational and never-ending.”

3. “Hey, baby want to Squeeze my Theorem while I poly your nomial?”

4. “Hi baby! If you don’t want to go all the way, you can still partially derive me.”

5. “I would really like to bisect your angle.”

6. “Hey Girl, can you satisfy my graph?”

7. “Can I explore your mean value?”

8. “I heard you’re sin baby because you’re always on top when we make tangent.”

9. “Nice calculator. Wanna iterate?”

10. “Your body has the nicest arc length I’ve ever seen.”

11. “How about I perform a sort on your variables, and you can analyze my performance?”

12. “Are you a 45-degree angle, because you’re perfect.”

13. “I’ll take you to your limit if you show me your end behavior.”

14. “I wish you were the Pythagorean theorem so I can insert my hypotenuse into your legs.”

15. “If I’m sine and you’re cosine, wanna make like a tangent?”

16. “I don’t know if you’re in my range, but I’d sure like to take you back to my domain.”

17. “Why don’t we use some Fourier analysis on our relationship and reduce to a series of simple periodic functions.”

18. “I’m good at math… let’s add a bed, subtract our clothes, divide your legs, and multiply!”

19. “My life goal is to make you harder than my calculus homework.”

20. “Since distance equals velocity times time, let’s let velocity and time approach infinity because I want to go all the way with you.”

21. “If you were a graphics calculator, I’d look at your curves all day long!”

22. “Baby you must be a modulus sign, ‘cos whenever you wrap your arms around me I always feel positive!”

23. “Wanna make a composite function?”

24. “Hey baby, can I see what’s under your radical?”

25. “Are you a math teacher? Because you got me harder than trigonometry.”

26. “You may be out of range, yet I would love to show you my domain.”

27. “If I was a polynomial, how would you expand me?”

28. “I not good at algebra but you and I together make 69!!!”

29. “You make me NP-hard, but I have an algorithm for you to approach me.”

30. “I believe you’ll find my Hardy-Littlewood quite maximal.”

31. “I think our Collatz Conjecture holds: wherever we start, we should end up being one.”

32. “Are you a compact set? Cause I’d love to get you under my finite covers.”

33. “I’ve got an orthogonal non-linear operator that’d I’d love to integrate over your entire surface.”

34. “My covers are open for you.”

35. “My vector has a really large magnitude. Would you care to normalize it?”

36. “Baby, you make me harder than the traveling salesman problem.”

37. “Can I measure your foot with my foot long retraceable stick!”

38. “Your so fine you make the Weierstrass function and Brownian motion differentiable.”

39. “Your body is so curved; I quickly reach Nash equilibrium.”

40. “You and I must be inverse logical functions. Because I could compliment you all day!”

41. “Do you like differential geometry? Because I know someone with a well defined normal vector, who admits all sorts of smooth embeddings and exotic structures.”

42. “Hey baby, I must be in your eigenspace, because you make me grow.”

43. “My legs are separable if you’re doing the splitting.”

44. “Girl, we go together so well. My injective function is onto you.”

45. “I´d like to put my ring of unity around you.”

46. “Can I be the hypotenuse in between your legs.”

47. “How kinky are you? I’ve got some countable chains to make those legs separable.”

48. “You are either a sphere or a donut, decide!”

49. “Hey girl, you must be asking me to evaluate the area under a curve for an unbounded region of x, because my integral’s not the only thing that wants to get improper.”

50. “You must be a conjugate prior, cause that posterior is tractible!”

51. “No, I’d rather be your squeeze theorem – that way I could take it to the limit and hit it from both ends. Actually, if I could be a clopen set in your standard topology, then I could be inside of you, outside of you, and on you all at the same time. But what would be optimal is if I could be the Nash embedding of a Lorentzian manifold in your subset Euclidean space such that your kernel with respect to Rn is a linear transform of mine – that way I could smoothly place myself on your flat areas and extend myself into you.”

52. “Want to come back to my place and do the Box-Cox transformation?”

53. “Call me parabola, Cause there’s a conic section in my pants.”

54. “This is my measuring stick!”

55. “I’m relativistic: the faster I go, the longer I last.”

56. “Baby my symplectic width might be a problem for u but don’t worry.”

57. “Wanna come back to my room and see my copy of Euclid’s “Elements”?”

58. “Baby we’re asymptotic – you get on top of me, and in the limit, we become one.”

59. “I want to have my unit vector on your nullspace.”

60. “I know you’re not holomorphic everywhere so why don’t you let me find your singularities.”

What do you think?

0 points
Upvote Downvote
Hero

Written by Naveen

Entrepreneur | Web Developer | SEO Analyst | Animator

Comments

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Loading…

Loading…

0

Comments

Cute Pick Up Lines

Romantic Sweet and Cute Pick Up Lines That Will Never Fail to Impress

This or That Questions

130+ Best [FUNNY] This or That Questions That Are Difficult To Answer