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300+ Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook in English

There are millions of people who can use WhatsApp Messenger and they also change status day by day so that why I am Publishing a Best Funniest Status in our sites. You can check the collection of Funny Whatsapp Status below. I hope you will like the funny statuses for WhatsApp.

Earlier you have seen some of the Best and Latest Whatsapp Status, Love Whatsapp Status, Sad and Cool Whatsapp Status but This time we come up with All-time Favorite FUNNY WHATSAPP STATUS.

Funny Status for Whatsapp and Facebook

“Hey there WhatsApp is using me.”

“I am not lazy, but I am on my energy saving mode.”

“I can’t read lips unless they’re touching mine.”

“80% of boys have girlfriends. Rest 20% are having a brain.”

“Last seen 1985!”

“When you are on a 1% battery anyone who sends a message Or calling, Becomes the enemy Automatically.”

“I love my job only when I’m on vacation.”

“Life is too short smile while you still have teeth……”

“God is really creative, I mean.. just look at me every time.”

Best Funny Status

Best Funny Status

“Common sense is not so common.”

“Never laugh at your wife’s choices… LOL..you’re one of them…”

“All my life I thought air is free until I bought a bag of chips.”

“Never Steal because of Government HATE COMPETITION.”

” I pretend to work and They pretend to pay me.”

“If you can’t convince them then Confuse them.”

“I always learn from the mistakes of others who take my advice. That’s called EVIL MIND.”

“I Am Gonna Make my Status High, better you to Focus on your Status only.”

“I hate people who steal my ideas before I think of them.”

Funny Status Quotes

“AwesoME ends with ME and UGLY Start with YOU.”

“People say everything happens for a reason. So when I Beat your ASS, remember I have a reason.”

“People said to follow your dreams so I went back to bed.”

“When Phone on silent mode – 10 Missed calls…When Turns volume to loud- Nobody calls all day.”

“Busy at this moment…free forever.”

“The only time success comes before work is in dictionary.”

“If time does not wait for you, don’t worry. Just remove the battery from the clock and enjoy life.”

“DOESN’T EXPECTING THE UNEXPECTED MAKE THE UNEXPECTED EXPECTED ?”

“Behind every great man, there is a surprised woman.”

“Doing nothing is very hard thing to do…you never know when to finish.”

Best Funny Quotes

Best Funny Quotes

“You have the perfect face to become Radio Jockey.”

“Totally available!!!! Please disturb me!!!!”

“Hi there! I am using my brain.”

“One day your princess will come. Mine just took a wrong turn, got lost and is too stubborn to ask for directions.”

“I have enough money to last me the rest of my life unless I buy something.”

“Looks like I over-estimated the number of your brain cells.”

“Lie is just a great story ruined by truth.”

“If Monday had a face, I would punch it.”

“My style is unique don’t even think to copy it!”

“Teachers call it cheating, students call it teamwork.”

“I always dream of being a millionaire like my friend!… He’s dreaming too.”

“My bed is always extra comfortable when I need to get out of it in the morning.”

“Don’t Hit Kids, They Become Smart Nowadays they Carry GUNS.”

“A man is as young as the woman he feels.”

Top Fun Status

“I’m just having an allergic reaction to the universe.”

“When I actually die some people are going to get really haunted after me.”

“The winner of the rat race is still a rat.”

“If money grew on trees, then girls would be dating monkeys….”

“Please don’t interrupt me while I’m ignoring you.”

“At least Some Mosquito’s are attracted to me.”

“I am sure I have a defective iPhone, I keep pressing the home button and I’m still at work.”

“I WANT TO KILL THE HOTTEST PERSON ALIVE… BUT SUICIDE IS A BIG CRIME!”

“I had to take sick day.I’m sick of those peoples.”

“Today’s Relationships is like You can touch each other but not each other’s phones.”

Best Funny Status for Facebook

Best Funny Status for Facebook

“DO YOU EVER JUST LIE ON KNEES AND THANK GOD THAT YOU KNOW ME AND MY INTELLIGENCE…??”

“TRUTH: Parents spend the first part of our lives teaching us to walk and talk, and the rest of it telling us to sit down and shut up…”

“It’s not that I hate anyone; it’s just that I do not like people.”

“Life is Short so Chat Fast..”

“My family says I talk in my sleep but nobody at work has ever mentioned it. What a TRAGEDY.”

“Save Paper, Don’t do Homework.”

“A black cat passing by the crossroad can stop hundreds of people what a RED LIGHT on traffic signal has failed to do for a long time.”

“I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I am blaming you.”

“Your status won’t ever match my status neither in WhatsApp nor in reality.”

“My wife dresses to kill. She cooks the same way.”

“Save Water, Drink Whisky.”

Funniest Whatsapp Status

“Sometimes all you need is love. Lol, just kidding, you need money.”

“WARNING!! I know karate…..and some other words too.!”

“Honest people can be put into two categories….little kids and drunk persons.”

“Today morning when I was driving my Ferrari, the alarm woke me up.”

“When a bird hits your window have you ever wondered if God is playing angry birds with you ?”

“I just need a good Wifi & Wife.”

“I only need three things in life: Food, Wifi, Sleep.”

“There’s only one problem with your face, I can see it.”

“I’ve had a horribly busy day converting oxygen into carbon dioxide.”

“AFTER GETTING DRUNK, BACHELOR OF TECHNOLOGY TURNS INTO MASTER OF PHILOSOPHY.”

“Can’t talk, telepathy only!”

“Read books instead of reading my status!”

“People that Change Love status after 30 Sec… GF is the Reason…”

“I am Cool but Summer Days make me hot.”

“I AM NOT A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE I LOVE ANIMALS; I AM A VEGETARIAN BECAUSE I HATE PLANTS.”

Laughing Status

Laughing Status

“GOOGLE must be a woman because it knows everything.”

“I love you, and it’s killing me.”

“A fine is a tax for doing wrong & A tax is a fine for doing well.”

“I’m not sarcastic, I am just intelligent beyond your understanding.”

“In bed, it’s 7AM you close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 8:00. At school it’s 12:30, close your eyes for 5 minutes, it’s 12:32.”

“Some people are beautifully wrapped boxes of shit.”

“Whatsapp users never die, they just go offline.”

“The only thing I gained so far in THIS YEAR is weight.”

“High Power Come ,with High voltage Current!”

“Hello madam, do you want new Credit Card ? Girl: No thanks, I have a Boyfriend.”

“I want some one to give me a Loan and then leave me Alone.”

“Wife means Worries in life Forever.”

“Wrestling is obviously fake. Why would two people fight over a belt when neither of them is wearing pants ???”

“A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.”

“People say they can’t live without Love. I think oxygen is more important.”

“I may be fat, but you’re ugly – I can lose weight.”

“Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.”

“Girls are like roads, more the curves, more the dangerous they are.”

“Yes, I agree. Moms can find everything. Except for the ringing phone in their bags.”

“Love marriage is like dancing in front of snake and asking him to bite.”

“‘m Jealous Of My Parents… I’ll Never Have A Kid As Cool As Theirs!”

“Mah Attitude……Mah ishtyle…”

“People say nothing’s impossible, but I do nothing every day.”

“Women should not have children after 30. Really … 30 children are enough.”

Hilarious Status

“Please be patient even a toilet can handle only one ass hole at a time.”

“If people are talking behind your back, then just fart.”

“Don’t steal because it’s the government’s job.”

“Don’t kiss behind the garden, Love is blind but the neighbors are not.”

“I am currently experiencing life at the rate of 20 WTF’s every hour.”

“Who care’s ?????………..I’m awesome. Fuck the Rest.”

“Laugh at your problems, everybody else does the same.”

“I’m not failed, But my success just lost.!”

“This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear….I’m just fat.”

“I hate men but I’m not lesbians”

Hilarious Whatsapp Status

Hilarious Whatsapp Status

“Best Restaurant Advertisement: We serve food as HOT as your neighbor’s wife, And beer as COLD as your own.”

“When it’s you against me, you either win or you die.”

“My heart is stolen..can I check your bra.”

“Marriage is the cause of divorce.”

“I DID NOT ATTEND HIS FUNERAL, BUT I SENT A NICE LETTER SAYING I APPROVED OF IT.”

“SI unit of ignorance = “seen”…”

“I wake up when I cant hold my pee in any longer.”

“You say I dream too big I say you think too small.”

“Running away does not help you with your problems unless you are fat.”

“Marriage is just a fancy word for adopting an overgrown male child who can not be handled by his parents anymore.”

“ALARM CLOCK: Because mornings must start with a heart attack.”

“Mosquitoes are like family. Annoying but they carry your blood.”

“3 Mistake done by everyone ..Whatsapp, Facebook & GF.”

OMG Funny Status

“Etc Meaning – End of Thinking Capacity.”

“We are WTF generation……. WhatsApp, Twitter, and Facebook.”

“Never make eye contact while eating a banana.”

“Faces YOU Make ON The Toilet lol (o_o) (>_<) (0_0) (^_^).”

“Virginity is not dignity, It is just lack of opportunity.”

Do share it with your Fiends and Spread Happiness and Laugh a Lot because LIFE IS SHORT.

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Written by Naveen

Entrepreneur | Web Developer | SEO Analyst | Animator

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